he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
