Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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