babies were throwing up all over the place
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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