i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
