Your face is a jimmy john
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
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