Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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