I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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