He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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