its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you never un-have a 4some
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
