you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
