New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My life is pants optional.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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