Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
