is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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