I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
