lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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