I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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