Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
