the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize