i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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