the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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