this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
