i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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