my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize