How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
