Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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