How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
