After last night, I could never be a politician.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
