How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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