Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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