and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
