I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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