haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
