For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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