was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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