its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
