I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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