I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
