im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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