So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
