I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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