the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
