The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
