Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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