he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
