I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
