I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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