She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
