Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
