she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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