i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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