using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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