Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
