Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize