Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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