oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
