he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
