Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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