Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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