You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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