if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
